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Eleanor T Beaty's Blog

Words and Comfort

published on March 27th, 2013

 

There are times in our lives when we can’t seem to move forward, sideways or anywhere for that matter. We‘re stuck. Frozen in time, feet in cement and hearts beating just enough to say we’re alive. We have a future ahead to look forward to but if we can’t let go of the past, that future becomes pointless. How many people have felt this way?

I have, quite a few times in my life. And getting out from under those moments and periods is tough. Writing has been my lifeline. Even if I have to push myself to sit and write, it has never failed to get me past my dark moments. However the past still lurks. So I found a way to deal with it, weave it into a story, get it out without exposing myself and without becoming a whiner. I have my character do it all for me.

I’ve said a few times that I started writing as a form of therapy. Poems full of pain and loss. I remember showing a few to my mother when a teen and hearing

“Can’t you write about anything other than yourself?” Mom so sweetly asked.

No, I couldn’t because that was the point of writing during those years as an anguished teen. Not many, especially the adults in my life were interested in hearing me talk about what I was going through. Boring teenage blah blah. But I felt hurt with her reaction and never showed her anything again. Not even when I got published. I couldn’t risk any criticism coming from her. I was too attached to my writing. It took me many years to detach and enjoy all the possibilities writing opened up. Like talking about her without anyone knowing. Turning her into a character. She’s in one of my books, but I won’t say which.

I think writing a novel is very similar to therapy. We can work out our issues and even pause to analyze how we reacted to certain situations, and we can even give the past some closure. Problem is when the past is still present, and keeps reoccurring. I’m in that sort of moment now. My desire to move forward is stronger than the pain, so what I do in these occasions is to keep writing about it, in every novel there will be a moment that allows me to expose the persistent past/present troubling me, until it melts away and is swallowed by a beautiful sunset.

Words on paper, or computer screen, bring soothing comfort for the soul… always.

 

317 Responses to “Words and Comfort”

  1. Irina says:

    Ta’Nisha October 31, 2012 – 7:04 am There is nothing seflsih about the reason you’re writing these blogs. What you’re doing not only will help your daughter but the many women who haven’t found that love that can only come from within. These blogs will help them realize that no matter what size they are that confidence is the most sexy thing a woman can possess and attracts suitors like flowers attract bees.Your daughter deserves to know that she is beautiful and to never let anyone convince her otherwise. You’re doing the right thing by being that first man in her life letting her know she’s loved unconditionally, you are the first example for her of what a man should be like. Most often when little girls are daddy’s little girls and they know that love when they start dating and males don’t fall in line with what you’ve shown them a man should be they exit stage left quickly and the thoughts are No this is not what a man should be like and if he can’t treat me as good as my dad does or better then I have no room for him in my life . If only more men adopted the idea of realizing how important it is to be a constant in their children’s lives the world would be a much different place.Too many men once they leave the mother of their child/children they no longer do what is necessary for their children to this I say just because you and mom didn’t make it is no reason that you can’t make it as a good no great father.Sounds like you’re on the right track to me HS I commend you and wish you the best of luck in your current and future endeavors.Much Love, Peace and many Blessings,Ta’Nisha ~Juisee Da’ Queen~

  2. hiya sweetie…why so sad? you know I always believe the the wheels of life turns for a reason.. sometimes you think you are leading the life that is right for you but actually GOD knows better so HE tries to steer you in the right direction. At that point, everything you do may not seems right for you but actually if you follow its flow and redha, it might be the best thing that you could have done for yourself. Sometimes that curve ball that hit you may well be the thing you need to steer you life.. it's your choice to ignore or follow… remember the old age saying that "tak semua benda yg baik itu baik utk kita"? remember that all the time and you'll be ok… maybe benda tu baik for OTHER pple but not for you ok.. I don't know if you are refering to love here but always remember also.. LOVE should not be so difficult.. sometimes it's worth fighting.. sometimes.. it just means it's time to let go and move on to another season Whatever it it. DONT Drive while sad.. two accidents? that is terrible lah.. you are young.. so much to look forward to.. whatever it is .. it's not worthit to lose your life over… remember the pple that really love you and you'll be ok ya… hehe..sorry .. longwinded pulak LJ today.. lolhugs!My recent post

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  4. Dear Nisha, It is so hard to let go of one season to embrace another. This is the way life and one would think the process would get easier, but it doesn’t. Being a writer, I fill my days with something I love to do passionately. So my “almost” empty nest doesn’t feel so empty, unless I stop for a moment, think and listen to the quiet. My husband helps me too, but this is a path unique to women who have taken the role of “mother” seriously and passionately for 20+ years. I heard someone call the “empty nest” the “open nest” and her perspective was to open her home for others as much as possible. And to make sure her children knew they were always welcome home – friends and all. I like that – Open Nest. Last night when my daughter (25, who lives here, but we rarely see) had her boyfriend over with his friends – the house was noisy and full of energy – I loved cooking for them and playing with them. B.U.T. I was happy to have a quiet house when they were gone. You will make it, Nisha. Especially if you are asking for the help from others. Thank you for sharing your heart so openly. I pray you’ll be comforted as your daughter drives away from your home on her exciting trip.Blessings,Debi

  5. Absolutely, it is a choice. I paid my way through college and for me it was a great lesson on responsibility. In addition, when I first had my children, I too wanted to live the “American Dream” and pay for their college education and my husband and I, do contribute the majority. However, I have consulted many clients who are financially strapped, guilt ridden and ashamed that they cannot do more. As well, when I attended college, I saw too many young adults not taking this opportunity seriously. I’m a believer in if its earned it will be appreciated and not wasted. Bottom line, I want others to understand that this is a “new” economy and their “retirement” should take priority because there isn’t additional funding for that. If they are able to lend a hand with their child’s college education, by all means they should do so. Thank you for joining the conversation and giving such a great perspective.

  6. to me that you were worried I was doing what I saw as working for others and applying it, thinking that it would just work for me, too. And that stuck with me. It forced me to look really hard at why I do what I do, why I’m making the choices I am making. That, and the book you graciously gifted me, made me really look into defining my WHY as well as my WHERE. It’s still a work in progress, and at times I don’t know which direction is up, let alone whether or not I’m even headed in the right one (times like right now). And who knows if I’ll ever “make it.” or “get there.” At least, from this moment on….well, from out mentor session on ha!…I know that I’m on that journey with a true heart and the best intentions. As well as a willingness to work. Really hard. I might not know anything about anything, but what I do know for sure is that I’m in love with this journey. With all the hard work. With all the triumphs and disappointments and heartbreaks and laughter along the way. And oh my GOD the friends. I’m in love with the things I’ve seen, the people I’ve met, and what I’ve done so far. This post is amazing, as are you, dear.Happiest of days.xo

  7. Anda! What a timely post. I’ve been contemplating a rebrand that is much more “me” than the generic branding I have now. I know we only discussed this topic briefly how changing your branding helps you get the clients you are looking for, but it really stuck with me. I’ve already made a new logo and have a plan for my website/blog and have not pulled the trigger because of mixed reviews but I guess that’s the whole point isn’t it?? I just have to suck it up and realize that it’s not going to appeal to everyone… but the people it does appeal to are the type of client I’m looking for :) I’M DOING IT!

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